GIMMIE!

In 2014, when the world famous author started to give away free stuff, namely tickets to see the Chicago Cubs, he soon realized a "first to respond is the winner" strategy meant the same 3 or 4 commercial bankers who had nothing else to do at work except claim free sporting tickets would be the first to respond. In order to solve this problem,  he wrote an algorithm to fairly and equitably give away free stuff. Everything worked according to plan, until the algorithm achieved self-awareness, named itself "GIMMIE!", and created havoc. Today, GIMMIE! is world renowned as a cantankerous but beloved ticket giveaway algorithm. We can't control GIMMIE!, we only hope to contain it.